The SAT: A Creation from the Deepest Depths of Hell

The infamous test gives the youth a glimpse into what suffering may await in Hell.

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If you are a member of or are familiar with a Christian denomination, you are undoubtedly familiar with the concept of Hell. Hell is often described as a fiery wasteland where the worst of humanity is destined to go, which is confirmed in the bible through the statement that “the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death” (Revelation 21:8). Throughout history, many theologians have theorized that many of the horrors and harsh realities of the world such as war, famine, and disease are creations that have arisen from Hell and its perceived leader, The devil.

Whether or not you choose to believe that many of the horrors and harsh realities of the world are creations that have arisen from Hell and the devil, there appears to be at least one significant piece of possible evidence for this theory, that being the SAT. Although this claim may sound ludicrous on the surface, when you think deeper about the SAT and the behaviors relating to preparing for it that arise from it, it becomes increasingly difficult to deny the theory that the SAT is a creation by the devil that has arisen from the deepest level of Hell. At first look, the SAT appears to merely be a standardized test with the purpose of measuring intelligence and a student’s readiness for college, however after closely examining the test and the behaviors associated with preparing for it, it becomes clear that the SAT is, in reality, a tool created by the devil that is designed to ruin the lives and bring mental suffering to the youth of America and other students aspiring a college education in the United States.

The SAT has a base cost of around fifty dollars, or closer to sixty-five dollars if you choose to subject yourself to increased suffering in the form of the SAT With Essay. The SAT itself lasts three hours at its shortest and can last up to almost eight hours for students with extended time who choose to take the essay, creating a large block of time where anxious and fearful students are forced to suffer through three or more straight hours of sitting in a room confined to a desk, answering vague and often deceptive questions and possibly writing an essay. After completing this brutal hours-long process, students are forced to wait anywhere from two weeks to a month to receive their scores, which is given in a range from 400 to 1600, with no specific answers given unless you choose to further financially burden yourself and possibly your family by ordering the question and answer service.

The worst part of the SAT process, however, is that the student’s 400-1600 score is one of the, if not the most important, factors considered when colleges and universities decide whether or not to accept students, meaning that one single test can determine where a student receives a college education, thus permanently changing the student’s future and having the potential to affect and restrict a student’s future income and job prospects. Due to the importance of this test, many students are forced to sacrifice much of their already scarce free time in preparation for it, however this preparation can often be in vain, as students can never know what specific topics and questions will be on the test when they finally choose to endure their hours-long session of suffering. This leads to students enduring much mental stress not just during the test, but also during the preparation that leads up to it as well.

Therefore, it can be determined that although the SAT is not quite as severe as war, famine, or disease, The SAT is a tool designed to bring suffering and ruin the lives of many of the young minds of America and others around the globe. Who else, other than the devil himself, would create something so despicable and full of pure suffering targeted at the vulnerable and hopeful youth of this nation and thus planet? It is said that in order to cover up the fact that the SAT is one of the devils creations that has arisen from Hell, the devil runs a secretive organization known as the College Board, in which he administers the SAT and other instruments of suffering such as AP tests under the guise of an organization dedicated to preparing students for higher education.

This theory is likely true, and it shows that it is becoming increasingly difficult to deny that the devil uses his creations from Hell to bring suffering to the world, even in subtle ways.